Sunday, April 30, 2006

Lucky Lady

Little lady luck is done. She stands, which was my goal with her, and I used a copper wire armature for her wings, which was a learning curve, so she was a good experience. And I'm so glad to have a beaded creature back in my house since I've sent off all my others to a magazine in hopes of publication. I hope she will bring luck. Or is that crickets?

I am sitting with loneliness. It is such an odd companion. Odd to be so lonely with these three children who don't leave me alone for a second. Never alone, but constantly lonely. I don't know why I resist the idea that I am lonely. I think I am hungry, or bored, or angry, or missing the prime of my life spending so much time single parenting. Underneath all of that is a river of loneliness. Sounds so pathetic. Hard to make peace with. Impossible to fix. I'm desperate for someone to come in after me, to draw me out, scared to death that someone might actually try. So cliche.

So, I make these little friends, keep my hands busy, " a world unto mine own". Beauty and joy and ultimate control when I create. Each little bead is my choosing, each color, each placement, each creature. And when they are done, they are companions, tributes to wishes.


Blogger Znglass said...

Val, your ladybug is beautiful! So beautiful...

I know about the loneliness of parenting, although I am not doing it alone. But sometimes I feel that just my thoughts are my own, and even those come at a premium. For instance, I would really like to take a minute to structure my comment to you so that is truly says what I mean in my heart, but in the space of mere minutes, each of my three daughters has come in with something to distract me, and my thread of reasoning snaps in two.

Anyway, perhaps another time I will find that space in my life to THINK again, but motherhood is -- complicated. Take care of yourself, Val, and keep creating these wonderful "tributes to wishes." --Zoe

5:33 PM  
Blogger RJ March said...

Hey, lady, checking in-- you doing okay?

6:27 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I love your little lady bug. She is wonderful!

9:54 AM  
Blogger RJ March said...

you are a sweetheart, for sure, Val.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Znglass said...

Hello, Val! How is your week going? I am perhaps a third of the way through Daria's journal skirt. Her birthday is next week, so I'd better get moving, hadn't I? I am almost ready to post a work-in-progress picture for you. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. --Zoe

10:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home