Lucky Lady

Little lady luck is done. She stands, which was my goal with her, and I used a copper wire armature for her wings, which was a learning curve, so she was a good experience. And I'm so glad to have a beaded creature back in my house since I've sent off all my others to a magazine in hopes of publication. I hope she will bring luck. Or is that crickets?

I am sitting with loneliness. It is such an odd companion. Odd to be so lonely with these three children who don't leave me alone for a second. Never alone, but constantly lonely. I don't know why I resist the idea that I am lonely. I think I am hungry, or bored, or angry, or missing the prime of my life spending so much time single parenting. Underneath all of that is a river of loneliness. Sounds so pathetic. Hard to make peace with. Impossible to fix. I'm desperate for someone to come in after me, to draw me out, scared to death that someone might actually try. So cliche.

So, I make these little friends, keep my hands busy, " a world unto mine own". Beauty and joy and ultimate control when I create. Each little bead is my choosing, each color, each placement, each creature. And when they are done, they are companions, tributes to wishes.